Wow, that was a long hiatus

Hello!! Sorry about the two months off. Lots of things happening, especially with my little sister, Andrea's wedding!! The wedding was on 7/20, and was gorgeous! We had so much fun. Also, I have been diagnosed with fibermyalgia. If you remember, in my earlier posts, I said I have a lot of pain and tenderness. I finally saw the rheumatologist earlier this month, and she gave me that as a working diagnosis. It's not the best news, but it could certainly be worse, and I'm just so excited that we're finally on the path to some relief! Now, as far as the weight loss, it's been very slow going, with a lot of back and forth. Our friend, Adrienne, who has her Master's degree in nutrition, is using us as guinea pigs, because she wants to be a weight loss counselor. For the past 2 months, (except for the past few weeks) we have been meeting with Adrienne on a weekly basis to set obtainable, weekly goals, in order to make this more of a life style change. She also gave us a quick and nutritious cookbook. Since January, Kyle and I were pulling recipes from Sparkpeople.com. Some of these were really tasty, some were really bad, but most of them took quite a bit of preparation. Needless to say, we were very burnt out. With the new cookbook, the recipes are typically 5 main ingredients or less, and take about 10 min to prepare and 10 to 20 minutes to cook. Our favorite recipe so far has been the baked potato with bbq chicken, sour cream, green onions, and sharp cheddar cheese! My current goals are to cut out sugary sodas and drinks, and to walk our dog Oscar 4 times a week. Kyle's are to watch portion control, go to bed by 10 on work nights, and to exercise 4x a week. The first several weeks with Adrienne were great! However, we have not been able to meet with her recently because of work and vacation schedules, and regretfully, we've fallen back into our old ways. I do know I am a stress eater, and there were a lot of stressers, especially helping with eveything for Peeglet's wedding, so now, we are going to get back to it, since the wedding is over! I am going to try to post at least weekly, especially after we set our goals with Adrienne, so that I can stay focused!

Long Week!

Today is my little sister Andrea's (or Peeglet) Bridal Shower!! My older sister, Candice, my little niece Addison, and I spent all day yesterday traipsing through Costco, Home Goods, and Target buying everything to make for the shower today. Then, we spent even longer baking, cooking, shredding, etc...but everything looks so yummy! The hardest part was messing up the deviled eggs. We've never really made them before, but they are Peeglet's absolute favorite. After hours of tediously de-shelling the eggs...and ripping them in half, or tearing the skin, and creating divets, we admitted defeat. However, with a quick call to mom, she salvaged the 3 dozen eggs we'd already hard boiled and suggested an egg salad! Huzzah!! We just deviled the yolks, and chunked the whites and mixed them all together! Absolutely delicious. The down side to all of this? I think every recipe had cream cheese, mayonnaise, or both! We used almost an entire Costco sized jar of Hellman's! Obviously we don't eat like this all the time, but I'm really going to have to watch myself today so I don't go hogwild! We do have a lot of fresh fruit and veggies, to be served with dip of course, so I will limit the dip intake, hopefully! As far as for the rest of the week, I was hoping to have a great and encouraging blog about how wonderful we've been doing, and all the weight we lost, and the week truly started out that way! We made delicious meals at home, watched our portions, had left overs to pack for lunch, and I even had plans with Peeglet to attend a Zumba session on Thursday night! And then, Wednesday night at work happened. To make a long, and tearful story short, I was in an encounter with the manager at work, and ended up feeling I had no respect, and so technically quit my job on Wednesday night. I got a call that I still had a job, and ended up calling the district supervisor to resolve some issues. This was such a stressful situation, and unlike anything that I've ever been involved in. For those of you that know me well, you know that I'm usually a calm person in control of my emotions, and that I very much want to and do get along with others. Luckily, after several conversations, the situation was resolved, but the stress of it all sent me into an eating downward spiral. Wednesday night, my support system (Kyle, Peeglet, and her fiance, Daniel) made and shared brownies with me, because chocolate helps so much! Then, I was so stressed out about seeing the person on Thursday, I forgot to pack my lunch, so I ran to McDonald's on my lunch break, with every intention of ordering a grilled, sweet chili chicken Mcwrap and water. But, there, in the drive thru out of my mouth came, I'll have a No. 1 with a large coke! (this is the first regular pop I've really had since the cleanse). After wolfing down my lunch (and it was delicious), I checked facebook to see a message from my cousin's wife, Michelle. She was so nice, and said how inspiring my blog has been, and that she was on day 4 of her own GM Cleanse. I felt so terrible, here I was just falling into the same old pattern! If only I had checked facebook before lunch!! I still thought it would be okay, because I would work it off at Zumba. At 7:25 pm, Peeg and I pulled into the parking lot of the little workout place for class. The music was already going, the parking lot was overflowing, and people were already dancing inside through the window. We were so intimidated, and I was still pretty overwhelmed by everything at work, that we decided to flee! So, yes, it has been a very long week, physically, mentally, and emotionally! (I cried, a lot, on Wednesday and Thursday) and I definitely saw just how much I am controlled by stress, especially when it comes to food choices! My hope from here on out is that I don't let that kind of stress and situation occur again, the situation was a long time coming, and I just kept ignoring everything that was going on, hoping to avoid a confrontation. Obviously, I found my breaking point, I'm not proud, but I do feel like I know now that I need to take the time to address things. This should carry over into eating as well! Planning and addressing food, having food prepared, and having healthy things on hand to munch on should help me avoid situations where I am at the McDonald's drive in at all!

Some Struggles

This week has been full of ups and downs for Kyle and I. We both gained back a few pounds from the cleanse. Kyle said he knew this would happen but I thought I'd finally be in the 250s for the first time in years. But, it looks like it might be a few more weeks til I get there. However, we went grocery shopping and bought a bunch of fresh things, and I've been given some good looking recipes from friend's and found more on pinterest. This week we get to look forward to mexican pizza, jalapeno-popper stuffed chicken, chipotle black bean burgers, crunchy chicken salad with poppy seed dressing and some other goodies!

Hopefully the new recipes will keep us inspired. I got pretty discouraged this week, because I gained weight back and I felt like no matter what I eat, I'll be at 265 for the rest of my life. This is the weight that I usually am, and it seems like every diet/exercise try stagnates at this weight. Today, however I was 263...and that was after even cheating with some Pizza King pizza (my favorite!).

The next step to get sorted is exercise. I'm planning to start out slow, just long walks with Oscar, our dog, and Kyle. Again, exercise would be helpful, but because of my arthritis/joint pain, strenuous exercise is difficult. I am doing a lot of physical therapy for my lower back and Sacriiliac joints, and its the best I've felt in years. Even my parents said I looked really healthy when I saw them yesterday! So, walking should go a long way I hope. Also, my little sister has moved in with us for the summer, until she get's married July 20th! We really want to try Zumba to work out and look sexy for the wedding!

What do you eat when you don't have a diet to follow

     Since finishing the cleanse, we've been on our own again with food, which is a little scary. We've done ok, but not great picking our own meals. The hardest part was eating barbeque at my sister's and fiance's engagement party. There was so much food, and we indulged quite a bit. Ribs, chicken legs, spaghetti, deviled eggs, salad, cheese cake, breadsticks, etc... to name a few items. However, we were incapable of gorging as much as we normally do. And the biggest difference was we had some regrets about eating so poorly. We also felt lethargic and uncomfortable for the rest of the evening, and even woke up more sluggish the next day. We are definitely noticing a huge difference that eating poorly plays on how we feel, and we're choosing to try and eat healthier just because we feel better and more refreshed.

Last night we also ate out again. I surprised Kyle with Alex Clare concert tickets at the Old National Theatre, and so we decided to make it date night and check out Mesh on Mass Ave. We're trying to do a little bit more expensive date night once a month to some nicer restaurants we want to try, rather than running to Applebee's or O'Charlies type restaurants once a week. Mesh was absolutely delicious!! And we ordered somewhat consciously. Kyle and I split the Applewood Chicken Salad and a 14 oz lamb t-bone which was out of this world good! We also split the calamari for an appetizer and broke down and split the bread pudding for dessert. However, we felt the lamb and salad were good options, and we only had 1 refill on our basket of bread instead of the two or three we normal eat.

All and All were realizing this is going to be hard work and we have to choose to make the right choices everyday. I know there will be times when we mess up, and I know that we can't get discouraged, but instead just need to do better the next day. But, for the first time in a long time, I feel like this is something we can do and be successful at!!

Results of the GM Cleanse!

We made it through the cleanse!! And we did very well until 6 pm on Day 7, at which point we ate out at Red Robin to celebrate my sister moving to Indy and my cousin running her first mini! But even there we ordered and ate much healthier than we normally would. Kyle ate a Bruschetta Chicken sandwich, side salad, and broccoli and I ate the BLTA croissant w/o mayo, a side salad...and sadly most of my sister's kid's menu french fries.

Our weigh in at the end of it all was very exciting! Kyle weighed 320.2, after starting at 335.6, that's 15.4 lbs down. I weighed a flat 260 so also lost 15 lbs! We're so pleased with our progress. We're also very aware that loosing weight quickly often means you put it on just as fast. However, we did the Cleanse to jump start our weight loss and also get our bodies used to eating healthier, and so we won't crave those comfort food so much.

A couple things that made me quite happy is that we did eat out. I actually ate out twice on Day 6, Friday and then at Red Robin on Saturday. Even though we went out to eat, I still managed to order really healthy things. Friday morning I had breakfast with a friend at La Peep's. I ordered an egg white omelette with spinach, mushrooms, avocado, sun-dried tomatoes ( I even had them hold the cheese :( and the potatoes) and had fruit instead. Then, later with my sisters at Applebee's I thoroughly enjoyed a 12 oz NY strip steak (we were allowed unlimited beef!) and did two ordered of steamed veggies for my side. So, since it's pretty unrealistic that we will cut out eating out all together, I'm really encouraged that they're are tasty options available, but we'll just have to discipline ourselves to order those things and not the regular stuff we usually get.

I asked Kyle how he felt throughout the week and at the end of it. He said he felt pretty lethargic the first few days, especially because he was going without his regular cup of joe at work. But, at the end of the week, he felt that his energy level was back to his usual level, without the coffee! He also says he feels skinnier! I feel skinnier too! And also don't feel too deprived of energy, but I still have a mild headache, hopefully that continues to diminish as I continue to avoid caffeine!

So, thanks everyone for all the encouragement and support, I've gotten several comments on facebook! I honestly can't believe how supportive everybody has been. I've gotten recipe ideas, websites to look at, and general encouragement from some very unexpected places and I know we'll need it to continue forward to someday skinny mini! So any advice or tips are very welcome as we traverse our weight loss path!!

GM Diet...Through the hardest part, onto Day 5!

We made it through! To meat day!! :) Just enjoyed an 8 oz sirloin for breakfast! Thank goodness. The last two days have been a little difficult. Fruits and Veggies on Tuesday weree okay because there was a little more variety, but I couldn't bring myself to eat much more soup. Yesterday was also pretty difficult. I managed to eat four of the eight bananas we're allowed and all 3 glasses of milk. However, both days I was feeling pretty  drained, hungry, and light headed.

However, it's been working. This morning I weighed in at 262,  which is 13 lbs lost and Kyle weighed 325, so he's lost ten! We're pretty proud of ourselves, and we haven't cheated, even though we've been laden with treats at our places of employment this week. Hopefully, this is the jump start we need to eat healthier long term, and that we stick to eating at home, making healthy meals, and staying away from large quantities of processed food.

Also, overall, my achy joints haven't been bothering me nearly as much, and I think my ferocious headache (probably from caffeine withdrawal) is finally subsiding. Two and a half days left, but I know we can make it!

GM Cleanse Day 2

Day 2 of the Diet has arrived. After doing a little more research, the cleanse we're trying is the GM Diet, developed by General Motors to help their middle aged employees begin to lose weight in a healthy way.

The first day wasn't too bad. I've currently got a pretty terrible cold; body aches, chills, etc...So, maybe I would feel worse on the diet if I wasn't already so sick I've also had a tremendous headache, but I'm not sure if that's the cleanse and caffeine withdraw or the illness since I had a headache most of the weekend before the cleanse. Kyle says he's been pretty hungry, but so far holding strong! This morning I had already lost 4 lbs and Kyle had lost 3! We also broke down and made the Wonder Soup we're allowed to eat every day. The recipe is something like 6 onions, a whole bunch of celery, tomatoes, green peppers, and we threw in some mushrooms, combined with water and Lipton soup packets. The broth is really tasty, but the rest of it is pretty overwhelming, but at least we're able to eat something a little bit substantial.

Today is all veggies plus more soup if we want. So far today I started off the day with a baked potato and a little butter (That's what it says to do) and I've eaten baby carrots and a freezer package of corn....Maybe I should go for something green and leafy this evening. Kyle on the other hand packed himself a delicious looking lunch of lettuce, avocado, sweet peppers, carrots, and pico de gallo! I should have had him pack some stuff for me too, but since I stayed home sick, I guess I can fend for myself!

So, in summation: So Far, So Good! Hopefully I'll get over this cold soon, at least all the vitamins in the veggies should be helping! We're also taking our gummy vitamins :) I consider them a little treat, and it's really hard to just eat the serving of two. I'll let you know how the rest of today and tomorrow goes! But I'm pretty pleased with 4 lbs down, oh and I also need to drink some more water, but we made a pretty delicious apple cinnamon flavored water, so it's helping with the 10 glasses a day!

Beginning Photo

Beginning Again....Weight Loss Journey attempt number...

My husband, Kyle, and I are trying, for the umpteenth time to lose weight. Just a quick background about our struggles...We were both at our adult skinniest (post college) in the Winter 2009/Spring 2010 when we started dating. My  weight loss that time was because of several months of being on the appetite suppressant Phentermine, and dating a terrible boyfriend who had me so upset that I rarely ate at all, so I dropped from 260 to 220. 

Kyle's weight loss was the result of being introduced to urging (using the rowing machine) at the gym with his co worker, and being unemployed, so subsisting on what he called "poverty stew" which consisted of large amounts of rice and beans, and very little beef. He got down to 240.  Together, we looked pretty good, because we're both fairly tall...I'm 5'11 and he's 6'. 

After dating, like apparently most couples do, we began to put on weight, and a lot of weight. We got married and I weighed 240 and he 260 in December of 2010. We consistently stayed about twenty pounds apart, but continued to gain weight. Over the 2 & 1/2 years we've been married, our weight has ballooned up. Today, I weighed in at 275 and Kyle weighs 335! Yikes! Our attempts to lose weight over the years have included a pretty much neglected gym membership, Kyle signing up but not training for several mini marathons (in which he manages to finish anyway!) and using spark people.com to track calories and plan healthy menus. It's not that these things don't work, and we start out successful, but unfortunately we lack any real stick-to-it-ness. So, I get down to about 263-265, and then just bounce back up the other way. 

So, you might ask why don't I just exercise? One, I'm discovering I'm pretty lazy with no one to push me...and Kyle pushing me doesn't always turn out so well ;) I really need a stranger or authority figure to get me into gear, and since I'm not afraid to lash out at Kyle (like I am to grumble to other people), I'm not properly motivated. And number 2, my health is appalling for a 27 year old. I can contribute my high cholesterol to family history (even my very healthy 29 yr. old sister has high cholesterol, along with my parents, and grand parents), and my high blood pressure to my obesity. However, for the past four years I've been dealing with un-diagnosed severe joint pain, which has stumped my doctor, the physical therapist, and the rheumatologist. Most days, I have a hard time walking when I finish my 8 hours on my feet as a pharmacy tech. I've also got a slipped disc, numb/tingly toes, and chronic nausea...all of which have stumped medical professionals...so needless to say, working out isn't on a high list of priorities. But, don't give up hope on me! I'm trying to be more active, and I'm also continuing to pursue the causes of all this medical nonsense.

So, that brings us up to speed to today! Which is the start of yet another effort! (Especially because I'm in my little sister's wedding on July 20th). Today we're starting a 7 day fruit and veggie cleanse (mostly because the thought of doing a liquid cleanse and not eating at )all is so sad! We love our food, clearly), which Pinterest has assured us will help us loose 10-17 lbs.

 (http://health-heaven.tumblr.com/post/17089615944/what-do-you-think-of-gms-diet

And after that, we're going to continue cooking at home and making healthy recipes. We had been doing fairly well at home eating until we went on vacation in early April, and we've been binge eating out since we came back, so time to get back to it. 

So, the point of this blog? Well, I feel that having an internet audience (maybe) might hold me a little bit more accountable! Also, just writing it down will help me reflect on my decisions, and hopefully make the right ones! We are determined to do it this time. My goal weight is 195, and Kyle's is 215, which will restore our 20 lbs apart once more! Wish us luck, and I'll keep you updated on our weight loss, attitude, energy level, etc...